Jake and His Broadcasting Career

THE LOSS OF A LOVED ONE AND LESSONS LEARNED

This past friday, March 18th, my Aunt Beverly Sue passed away at 53 years old. I had arrived in TN on Wednesday for my annual trip home and went to visit her on friday morning. Shortly after my visit with her I received the phone call that she had passed away. It is pretty insane how it all happened. What were the odds that I would be in TN when she passed away and that I would have had the amazing blessing to see her, talk to her, and tell her I love her moments before she took her last breath? Nick was flying in on Friday and his plane landed just as I received the news of her death, therefore being able to be there as I grieved. For the last couple of years as my aunt's health was deteriorating I worried so much that I wouldn't be able to afford a last minute plane trip home for her funeral or that she would pass away without me getting the chance to tell her how much I love her or how much she meant to me. However, I was there. I was there to tell her I love her and to honor her life.

It's crazy how participating in and attending a funeral and burial of a loved one brings so much perspective on life here on earth and how short it is. My aunt was one of the most amazing people I have ever known, she was selfless, giving, and just flat out real! She is one of the few women that took me under their wing and helped fill the empty place that I had in my heart for a mother. However, despite the unbelievable woman that she was and the influence she had on many people's lives, her earthly experience ended being lowered into the ground and dirt being dumped onto the top of a metal vault. Her magazines were left open, her water bottle was at her bedside, and all of her STUFF was just sitting there.

God taught me two things this weekend that hopefully will forever change the way I live my life: God is in control down to every last detail and the only thing you leave behind is what you give to others.

Beverly I love you with all my heart and will miss you everyday! Thank you for what you gave to me!!

ELI'S SIXTH BIRTHDAY PARTY

Eli's birthday party was so much fun! Eli has been going through a western phase, cowboy boots and all so we decided to have a cowboy party to celebrate his big day! We had pony rides and smores pops with some of his closest friends, what a blast! I think the adults had their share of fun as well. Here are some pictures of our celebration.

Fear Not!

Someone who has inspired me several times in my life once asked me the question, " Can you imagine what life would be like if our fears didn't exist." If you think about it, most of the time fear is the motivation for a lot of things we do. Then there is the ultimate fear, the one thing that we are sure will just destroy us...." God if this happens well I just won't be able to make it. " Everyone has them. Maybe it is fear of loosing someone you love, financial ruin...... I don't know ,only you know. Well, I know one of my top ones and that is Fear of abandonment, being alone. It cost me a lot of money and a lot of inner soul searching to learn this truth. With any fear, once it is identified the next goal should be how to conquer it. I have been trying to conquer this one for a while now and there are certain times in my life that they creep a little bit closer to the forefront. However, I have to say through, I think I have figured out how to destroy fear and that is only with rock solid truth. When those fears creep up, which I believe is Satan's greatest tool, we have to latch on to what we know to be truth and not let go until one day the fear is gone.

Example:

FEAR

I am unworthy of love, disposable and not valuable

TRUTH

I am a Child of God created by the Creator of the Universe for the purpose of worshiping him and no one can snatch me from his hand.

Thank you for that truth Father! I hope that all of you find some truth to silence your fears today.:)

Mandy

Venting session #1

I think for a while I am going to be using my blog for an outlet or a journal you could say. I am going to apologize in a advance if it is a little depressing for a season. That is kind of my problem...... Usually I have been able to scream or what ever I needed to do with my emotions and in a short amount of time my emotions would be gone. However, these days I am just sad. (Oh no, gees Mandy you sure are a debbie downer.) I know! I am really having a hard time shaking my emotions here lately and I am thinking maybe that if I can have an outlet, a place to pour my heart out everyday without worrying about how someone views the strength of my relationship with God due to my lack of glee maybe the sadness will eventually leave my body.( Maybe I am figuring out why Nick likes to blog so much). I know that right now is a huge turning point in who I am as a person as well as who I am as a friend and a follower of Christ.I can feel it, and unfortunately I may not be heading in the right direction:(. I am just going to tell the truth. I really am trying to be that person that smiles and says Nothing will steal my joy but nevertheless, I am failing. I know that not many people that I know read my blog but if you do, Please pray for me that I would embrace the Joy and peace that can only come from Christ and that I will gain some light into where God is leading me during this season of my life and that I will embrace my sorrow if that's what it takes to draw me closer to him. I want to be honest with my struggles which are bitterness, anger, sorrow, and lonliness. I totally understand if any of you feel the need to tune out of my blog for a while but I can't continue to pretend or I feel it will be to the detriment of me and who I am. I am thankful for all my precious Savior has blessed me with...my family, my friends, my beautifully created children , my life,....... for whatever reason( I am sure it is a good one) however, God has brought me to a place of sorrow and I need somewhere to vent. I do not want to burden my loved ones or the people around me that do not handle grief in the same manner. Therefore, me and the internet are going to have some talks and vent away. I already feel better. Also, if you do read my blog please don't feel as though you have to comment and tell me how sorry you are. I know that all of you love me and that I can count on you guys at anytime. I just truly need a place to get it all out.

xo

Mandy

Bring it on!!!

I haven't posted in literally eternit , but having the swine flu, being churchless, and my husband being jobless has prompted some new thoughts. Last Tuesday my husband lost his job, my family lost their church, and I was diagnosed with the swine flu , in  a matter of 15 minutes. I know what you are thinking.... WOW! Yeah that is exactly what I was thinking. Praise the Lord that I am feeling physically better. Today, 7 days later, I am finally feeling  somewhat healthy. However, my heart is still broken. Sorry I have no details that I feel like sharing but I just need somewhere to say that I HURT! It is amazing though how God allows you to feel hurt and hope at the same time. I know that my God is way bigger than this stupid stupid week and when the end of the story is revealed , I  will be beaming from ear to ear at what my gracious Saviour had in store for me and my family. The middle of the story just sucks so bad!!! It is quite funny actually..... a true "Mandy" happening. The week before all this happened. I prayed God if you have to destroy me to draw me closer to you then do it. Well I got some of what I asked for and I am going to embrace it. I am DETERMINED and REFUSE to miss this opportunity to draw closer to him, the one who shed His blood for me, during this trial. Satan, seriously, is that all you've got.... bring it on.

Psalm 30:11-12

You turned my wailing into dancing; 

You removed my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness

that my heart may sing to You and not to be silent.

Oh Lord my God, I will give you praise forever.

I've Been Tagged!

I have been tagged by my sweet friend Liz. Thanks to her maybe my blog will stay alive. The boys shattered our camera so I haven't blogged very much. Here it goes:

7 things I plan to do before I die

1. Devote my life to my family and my God

2. A triathlon

3. Travel a lot

4. Be an international missionary

5. Climb Half Dome

6. Hopefully have another baby?

7. Read more



7 things that I do now

1. cook

2. clean

3.play with two cute boys

4. take care of patients

5. Did I say clean!

6. Homework

7. grocery shop


7 things I can't do

1. Stop worrying

2. work in a office

3. read a map

4. loose weight

5. keep up on my blog

6. wear flats

7. play board games with my husband


7 things I find attractive about the opposite sex

1. Dark hair

2. blue eyes

3.5'11

4. scruffy beard

5. loves football

6. loves God

7. loves people


7 things that I say most often

1. Is that a good choice?

2. Ask me nicely

3. Yes you may

4. Push

5. I am so tired!

6. Love ya

7. Stop it now

7 Celebrities that I admire the most:

1. Bono

2. Beth Moore

3. Ann Curry

4.Lisa Ling

5. Kurt Warner

All I could think of...


7 favorite foods

1. Salad with cranberries and glazed pecans

2. Crab legs

3. Any type of pastry

4. frozen yogurt

5. pasta ala vodka from Brio

6. Avacado

7. sushi

I now Tag my friends Melissa , Sunny, and Robin